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 Emphasis on 'constructive'

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Lyexsah



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PostSubject: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:50 pm

Okay, so this thread here is my suggestions, but I am emphasizing the 'constructive' on my critisizm, because people here seem to jump down your throat if you disagree with a thing or two as far as her writing goes.

I'm not going to lie, the writing could be better; but I don't exactly expect Of Mice and Men quality writing from a fanfiction writing, either, that would be ignorant of me to expect that.

And I have never been a fan of the crossover stuff, but again, I think it's gotten too far along to turn that train around. My major suggestion; make the crossovers PLAUSIBLE, and stay true to the character, if you will. Anyone who's ever read the book series would know that Edward would never call Bella a cunt. Much less even use the word 'cunt'.

And Hiei doesn't exactly seem the type to be going door to door on the train selling candy, especially considering the school is free.

And as a side note, how is it they were all first-years? Even your main character, Dally, who's sixteen. Eleven-year-olds are first-years. Sixteen year olds are sixth-years...
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Pain and Sufferage

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Fri Jul 31, 2009 4:08 pm

If your only reason for joining was to post this, then yes, expect people to jump down your throat. This is a forum for those who like the story/found it amusing. Don't like it? Not amused by it? Don't read it.
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Lyexsah



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:51 pm

Is that not what others joined for? To comment on the fanfiction and put their two cents in?

Actually that's precisely what it's for; my comments were neither destructive or unneeded so there's no reason to be so snippy with me.
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Pain and Sufferage

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:50 pm

I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.
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FtW



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:59 pm

needs a mod. oh wait
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Lyexsah



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:59 pm

I think it's funny how people talk to me like I came in and made topic that said

'0MFG TH1S F4NF1C FUCK1NG SUX0RS'

That's not what I did; I came in, and politely stated what I thought would improve the fanfiction. If I really hated it and just wanted to tear it down; I wouldn't have read it all the way though, I wouldn't have spent the time creating an account on this forum, and I wouldn't have taken the time to write out my ideas, or rather, comment/critique of sorts.

and as a side-note, Hiei's last name is 'Jaganshi', not 'Yerameshi'. URAmeshi would be Yusuke's last name. XD **YYH freak**

There was something else I thought would be funny/interesting, but I can't remember what it was. :/
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RSwordsman



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:03 pm

As with buildings, sometimes it's necessary to bulldoze what's already there to build a superior structure. With this story, I think it's the case.

The truth is that it blows in nearly every way. Sorry to say, but your descriptions are childish ('looked at her like "I like you"), , there is little in the way of transitions between dialogue lines, your spelling is godawful, and grammar might as well not be there at all.

Although I didn't join this forum to bash your story; I joined because as an aspiring writer (and advice-giver for whatever I can help with) myself, I'd like to see others get better. Those who know me know that I'd never directly insult anybody, but I'd be lying if I said anything like "It's okay." Because truth be told, this story could do with being completely rewritten from the start, with care taken to keeping at least a middle-school level of language.

Again I'm sorry this is so harsh, but I could compare myself to Simon Cowell-- some people need the cold, hard truth.
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Link

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:19 am

Honestly I agree with you but I've see it as a person that likes the topics and tried to put down what they considered a fan plot. (Thus I have some experience of this thanks to an ex friend that was an avid fan girl of my comics, I want to kill her with a screwdriver through her temple btw.) Its like an extent of how they see all their favorite characters living in the same area or living in their mind/thoughts.

Probably this is a good example for the ages idea. They all have a late gift of magic that has lied dormant because they were late boomers, slow developers, or was stricken/attacked and now have magic.

I admit I am a huge of all the series that was mentioned cept Twilight. I know how all the characters act, live, strengths, and weaknesses. But I'm not being harsh on FTS for the main reason since I know it was written by an immature 16 year old that has made me have a good laugh in a long time. She could be smart or retarded doing this story or doing this for shits and giggles but alot of this story deals with Out-Of-Character content.

Even though I respect your criticism, and actually agree with it a hundred percent, most people see this as an opportunity to have a good laugh and to make fun of its content or the whole thing completely and don't really care for a constructively planned criticism for FTS.
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RSwordsman



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:52 am

Link wrote:
<snip>

One thing I didn't criticize and I don't think I will is the plot itself. I've got no problem with crazy crossover fics with non-canon love relationships, because fanfic is made purely for fun. If somebody wants to write about HP and Twilight and anime all mashed into one, great. The point of my above post was that without the elements of more refined writing, few others will be able to enjoy the fruits of the author's imagination too. And anyone who's posted a story on the internet can tell you that getting positive reviews and fans is a great feeling.
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edward_tumors



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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:36 am

Pain and Sufferage wrote:
I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.
Hey come on, no need for violins!
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Bella

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:57 pm

EVERYONE KNOWS EDWARD WANTS TO KILL ME BECAUSE I WAS A CUNT WITH NO BACKBONE! FO SHIZZ!
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Grred

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:03 pm

Gtfo.
Don't even try.
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CaptainBaconMan

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:17 pm

Pain and Sufferage wrote:
I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.

Haha. Is the e-drama to much for you? Welcome to the internet.
Are you afraid of other people opinions or something? There's this thing called bigotry, you probably spout this at other people all the time. You didn't give any sort of meaningful rebuke whatsoever. The only thing that came out of your mouth was mindless blathering.

The story could use some constructive criticism. Lyexsah is not at fault in any way.
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turningcumintowater

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Wed Oct 14, 2009 8:50 pm

CaptainBaconMan wrote:
Pain and Sufferage wrote:
I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.

Haha. Is the e-drama to much for you? Welcome to the internet.
Are you afraid of other people opinions or something? There's this thing called bigotry, you probably spout this at other people all the time. You didn't give any sort of meaningful rebuke whatsoever. The only thing that came out of your mouth was mindless blathering.

The story could use some constructive criticism. Lyexsah is not at fault in any way.

Wow bringing up the past much? Pain and Sufferage hasn't been on in forever, god i miss her, so she probably won't be reading your attack anytime soon.
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Bean Gay

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:40 pm

turningcumintowater wrote:
CaptainBaconMan wrote:
Pain and Sufferage wrote:
I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.

Haha. Is the e-drama to much for you? Welcome to the internet.
Are you afraid of other people opinions or something? There's this thing called bigotry, you probably spout this at other people all the time. You didn't give any sort of meaningful rebuke whatsoever. The only thing that came out of your mouth was mindless blathering.

The story could use some constructive criticism. Lyexsah is not at fault in any way.

Wow bringing up the past much? Pain and Sufferage hasn't been on in forever, god i miss her, so she probably won't be reading your attack anytime soon.
you know whqt happens to ppl to who lost faith in dally T__T
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Grred

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Sun Oct 18, 2009 9:00 am

You all fail in life. Don't join a site for fans if you're not a fan.
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CaptainBaconMan

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PostSubject: Re: Emphasis on 'constructive'   Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:36 pm

turningcumintowater wrote:
CaptainBaconMan wrote:
Pain and Sufferage wrote:
I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm so fucking done with this.

Haha. Is the e-drama to much for you? Welcome to the internet.
Are you afraid of other people opinions or something? There's this thing called bigotry, you probably spout this at other people all the time. You didn't give any sort of meaningful rebuke whatsoever. The only thing that came out of your mouth was mindless blathering.

The story could use some constructive criticism. Lyexsah is not at fault in any way.

Wow bringing up the past much? Pain and Sufferage hasn't been on in forever, god i miss her, so she probably won't be reading your attack anytime soon.

I'm so sorry. Oh wait, no I'm not. It's also not an attack, it's a rebuke, albeit a snide and cynical one.
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